Thursday, December 24, 2009
End of the Year Poem - DC Style (with apologies to The New Yorker)
Peace de Resistance
Ho-ho, dear readers, allay your winter fret,
Gather here with me away from the Internet.
It’s the Santa of Sonnets, the Nick of Time,
Here to give young and old mariners a rime.
So join us on this DC seasonal skate,
(Hey look who’s coming – it’s Alex the Great!)
As we wrap up 2009 in one glittery roll,
With a greeting to some who stirred our soul.
A toast to the Holiday (isn’t Johnny great?),
And the long-awaited prospect of a 51st state.
To that late great paper, hark the Herald,
And our hunk prosecutor of yore, Patrick Fitzgerald.
Can you serve hot cider with your subpoenas?
For Antawn Jamison and Gilbert Arenas,
Holly Twyford and Tom Shales,
Lisa Moscatiello and our own Wale.
Light the yule log for Bob Mondello,
And Avery Brooks (our favorite Othello),
Joy Zinoman, Michael Kahn,
And our biggest celeb, Tai Shan.
Let’s go caroling with Fennelly and Schwartz,
Diane Rehm and puzzle-guy Will Shortz,
We’ll bring along the tenors Carreras and Domingo,
And a Beatle, of course (we’ll settle for Ringo).
Load the reindeer and sleigh with presents to the top,
For Mayor Fenty (he'll run alongside) and Linda Cropp,
Jhumpa Lahiri, Billy Taylor,
Jessica Cutler, Bunny Wailer.
Send out some merry seasonal wishes,
To Debi Smith and Sarunas Jasikevicius,
Ryan Zimmerman and Vincent Gray,
Delores Williams and Doris Day.
Spike some eggnog for her channeler, Nellie McKay,
The Last Train Home and Buddy Guy,
Hey, it’s Nora Pouillon and Frederick Yonnet,
With Septime Webre and the Washington Ballet!
May live music land under your Christmas tree,
(Maybe if you strike a deal with Michelle Rhee.)
All hail Coach Joe Gibbs (but don’t embarrass),
Just give him a holiday CD by Emmylou Harris.
We’re good now Joe, Bruce Allen’s here,
Or better yet, check in again in another year.
Put on the lederhosen, ring the chimes
For Kojo Namdi and Geoffrey Himes,
Lady Gaga and Sen. Ben Cardin,
Roberto Donna and Marcia Gay Harden.
Darrell Green, Carolyn Hax,
Lark McCarthy, Emanuel Ax.
Police Chief Lanier, Stephen Breyer
Norman Parish and the National Cathedral Choir!
Raise a glass to the Alleys, Kirstie and Blues.
(Maybe they know what happened to La Sooz?)
Ylan Q. Mui, Sammy Sosa,
Philippa Hughes and Omarosa.
Sonia Sotomayor, Coach Joe Bugel,
Carl Bernstein (he’ll bring the kugel!).
Serve the punch for O’Malley the gov,
And get him a treat from our own CakeLove,
Cheers for Santana Moss, our favorite wideout,
Politics & Prose and Bonnie Rideout,
Edward P. Jones, Doc and Ed Walker,
Ruth Bader Ginsburg and that new Ooma Talker.
Ermanno Tonizzo and Erin McKeown,
And our king of go-go, the Chuck Brown.
For Abe Pollin and George Michael we mourn,
For those about to be fired, we Zorn.
How 'bout we take him to Bens for a winning chili bowl,
Where we can all sing a verse of Joyeux Noel.
We’ll invite Kal Penn, Adam Dunn and Joey Cheek
And our friends the Salahis, Michaele and Tareq!
Forget about all this fuss and to-do,
And let me introduce you to Freddy Adu.
He had some problems but now it’s all in the past,
Just go to Mallorca (and you should move fast!).
It’s been a tough year, we look tired,
Traffic and the economy, we’re all so mired,
Can’t we all just get away and fly to Ibiza,
With Taraji P. Henson and Condoleeza!
Dear friends, our goose is nearly cooked,
The tables are set and fully booked.
Apologies to those we couldn’t rhyme,
(Like Vincent Orange), we’ll try next time.
From Maryland to Virginia and thru the District line,
Blessings to all for a safe 2009.
It’s time for the flag of peace to be neatly unfurled,
With a sincere and happy Joy to the World.