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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

An Ode to My Food Blogging Camp in Mexico (with Links to 24 Great Blogs!)

Greetings Food Bloggers across the culinary plains,
I’ve come to say thanks for your secrets of the grains
To celebrate and graduate our wonderful class
And compliment you all on your exuberance and sass.
So let’s raise one last toast of tequila and grappa
For an ixceptional week in ixciting Ixtapa
And hope you all harvest your sites and sow your seeds
And don’t get too blogged down in RSS feeds.
I’m truly humbled in your blogospheric presence
Of raptured baklava and deeply-smoked pheasants.

So dice a mango and glaze a banana
For the storytelling wit of lovely Steve-Anna.
So much group talent can be a little unnerving
Better give me A Plate Full of whatever Claire’s serving.
I’m off to join Foodspiration for some eatin’ and explorin’
With the ever-so-adorable Justin and Lauren.
We’ll examine every basil leaf and edible palm frond,
Then go for a guac dip in the refreshing Sonndapond.
Yikes! The Smithsonian has run out of museum wax!
So much for snapping my fiberglass-built snacks.
Take ice cream, toothpicks, shoe polish and stay calm
And you get a new definition of an ‘Adam Bombe’;
And you know Matt Bites will make it look amazing,
Flashing pictures after the construction and glazing.
As for me, just clam sauce please and a bowl of spaghetti
And let me sit next to Stephanie Stiavetti.
(A guy can dream, can’t he, of his culinary heaven.)
I promise, Ms. Wasabimon, no glutens, yeast or leaven.
Alas, reality beckons, in its finest spanakopitan chorus
Telling me to head to my favorite Dianasaurus.
Did anyone ever see her the slightest bit dour?
Or not wearing a spectac sundress and matching flower.
Actually, with whom among us wouldn’t I love to cook?
I’d gleefully stream with any of our Brook(e)s
Be it the Food Woolf and her dicey posts,
Or Self Preservation and her orange toasts.
THAT would be the coolest of cool, man,
Except if I could go hang out with the Ruhlmans,
Wonderful words and pictures all night and all day,
We’ll snap, Ratio and rock all the way.
Then I’ll rest and sit down with Spoon and Chair,
But only if Diane is kind enough to share.
Hey, I’ll Write for Food if Owen and Dianne are by my side,
Anyone recommended by Bourdain travels in my ride.
Speaking of travel, it’s off to Japan for a quick gaze
To read Nancy’s “anime”ted musings on Indigo Days.
And, of course, we’ll stop in Norway for an Oslo meal,
So fly me to Lekkermunn and the adventurous Cecilie.
Then I’ll parlez vous my way to the City of Light
To visit our Parisian Panissian, the bonbon of good bytes.
From the first day, David couldn’t be nicer (a dream!)
So I’m Living the Sweet Life now, caramels and ice cream.
There’s nothing vanilla about Vanilla Garlic’s sound track,
Garrett makes the Capital seem anything but a Sad Sac,
And Stephanie is so humble about her Copykat beginnings,
Not mentioning the thousands reading her spinnings.
A Beach Home Companion could not be any more enticing;
Sarah’s amazing photos are like the cake AND the icing.
And I’m already a Frantastic Food Franatic!
I mean, she does live TV with no delay or static!
Tonight I’m eating chimichangas, courtesy of Recipe Girl
Knowing Lori is behind it, I’ll give it a whirl.
Next. I’ll. Try. Casey. In. All. Her. Jersey. Glories.
Does. It. Get. Any. Better. Than. Good. Food. Stories?
Well, sitting with Richard, Gary and Jane, shooting the breeze,
Is pretty great company (and getting no check please)
Wait, running off in the distance, is that a silver balloon?
No sillies, it’s just pretty Perre and The Runaway Spoon!
I’d catch it but it’s taking off so fast,
Which reminds me to always save the best for last.

Elise simply reminded us of all we need to know,
Simply Recipes, darling, is my new favorite place to go.
And Todd and Diane, they frame, shoot and splice, (so supple!)
Just try tearing me away from White on Rice Couple.
Alas, I thank Jaden for making this amazing trip take flight;
What a bouillabaisse of campers, a parfait of delight.
She’s incredible, with her care, her hard work and her texts,
Steamy Kitchen may be the new Oprah by the time we meet next.
Wow, I guess I’m done! Hooray! It’s time for a beer!
I hope we can Ronndezvous again, same time, next year!


  1. Lovely Ronn, so nice to see such a creative post. I particularly enjoyed how you worked just about everyone into this poem.

  2. Wow, that was pretty damn impressive.

  3. Ronn,
    What a fun way to sum everyone up. Great job and I'm truly impressed by all your rhymin' skills. Ever consider a career in rap? Thanks for the memories!

  4. Hmm... Sarah's got a good point. A Rap music video perhaps? :)

  5. Ronn, I am awed. A great piece for a great many reasons: funny; so very skillfully done in the way that you've wryly captured us all; and I can hear your voice, aurally, as I read it. Which surely means you've already cracked writing "voice". If I didn't know you at all, I think your powers of observation might scare me!

  6. Ronn, what fun! (Yes, clearly I am behind on your blog. Er, sorry about that.) I think I heard a few of these lines in the latest Eminem track. Or was it 50 Cent?